One2Ones

As we move from individual contributors or team members, to managers and leaders, we need to fully embody the idea that I am no longer the ‘doer’ I am now the one that makes sure things get done.  Another way of looking at this is that I am no longer responsible for the work getting done, but I am ultimately accountable that it gets done.  

Becoming a manager is not a power trip – ‘I’m the boss and you will do it because I said so!’.  You are working with adults, most are reasonable, most understand that you are the boss and there is a corporate hierarchy, in which you sit above them, most also want to do a good job, and be recognised as doing such.  The One2One process supports this and offers you an opportunity to lead rather than manage.  

Here at Active Consulting we hold the view that a One2One is the responsibility of the team member not the team leader.  The One2One should be booked by them, and they should provide the agenda.  It is after all their One2One.  As their manager and leader your role is to help them progress, achieve objectives, develop professionally, to help them expand their circle of influence and to empower them to achieve things they didn’t think possible.  Your engagement with and assistance in the regular One2One process is the route to achieving these.  

However; this is not always the case, in some businesses that is just not the way they do things around here (at the moment- you can change that), perhaps team members just don’t (yet) feel empowered to approach their boss and place demands on their time, some are basing future One2One’s of a less than favourable past experience and as such will do everything they can to avoid a repeat, others just don’t (yet) see the value.  Any lack of understanding is reflected in denied value.  As managers and leaders we need to help our team members understand the true value of these regular sessions – that the purpose is to support their efforts, keep them heading in the right direction and that you will do whatever you can so that at the end of the year they feel that they are in a better place than they were at the start of the year, that they are more capable, more confident and they know how their effort fits into the big picture.  

Here is a collection of questions that any manager/leader can ask their team members that will leave them both understanding more and feeling better about things.   In a couple of instances we have added a little context – however you are smart and will quickly see the rational for the question and where it has the potential to lead the conversation.  

1. How are things going?  

This is specifically vague; going? going where? at work? at home? with my partner? with my kids? with the xxx project?  Allow your team member to take the lead on this.  Keep this question up your sleeve “that’s interesting, tell me more” as it is a great way to get to know people better and to give them the opportunity to provide more information.  This is a trust building question  

1. What is you biggest challenge at the moment?

Another open-ended question – are we talking work, or home, are we talking task or individual? Let them answer however they wish to answer.  

1. What have you been most proud of over that last month?
2. What is stopping you from moving ahead?
3. If you could delete one or two things from your monthly calendar, what would they be and why?  

This is often answered with reference to a specific meeting and what little value it offers.  Do more digging and see where this leads: is the meeting really a waste of resource? Do you know something they don’t about it? Can you share this? Is there someone else for whom this meeting might be more important or relevant to? 

1. Do you feel that your skills are where they need to be to deliver what is currently expected of you? How can I help to raise these if necessary?

As a training company you might be surprised to hear our answer on this.  In our experience the first-place people go to, when they recognise a deficiency is traditional classroom-based training.  Sometimes this is the best option – but it is never the only option.  Your role here is to open their eyes to other options; digital learning, subject matter experts within the business, reading, job share, etc. 

1. Is there anything you need my specific help on? Can I help to remove a roadblock or bottleneck?
2. Who has provided you with the most support over the last month?
3. What team has been placing the greatest demand on you over the last month?
4. What do you need me to do more of? Less of?

This demonstrates humility – ‘I think what I’m doing is OK/working – but you tell me’

1. What frustrates you the most at the moment?
2. Do you feel that your current workload is manageable? 

Again, more humility ‘am I overloading you, and you just haven’t said anything?’

1. Where would you like to be in 2 years? 5 years? What can I do to help you get there?

This question shows that they are not trapped in their current role forever and that you are there to help progress their careers.  

1. Is there any training that you feel you need or would like to attend?

See the notes associated with point 6 above.  

1. If I was to ask you for examples of living the company values, can you think of any examples that you saw, heard or engaged in over that last month? 
2. Have I asked you do anything that lacked clarity, appeared to be nugatory, didn’t connect with our team mission or objectives, or you just couldn’t see the point of the work in the last month?   
3. Is there anything going on outside of work I might need to know about? Could help with? Is there anything the company could do to help?
4. What percentage of the month (roughly) was spent on achieving your personal objectives (from a PDP, PIP, PDR etc)?

This is the perfect lead in to asking as to how they are getting on with their personal objectives, what help do they need etc. 

1. Are there any holes in your understanding of what is going on?  Who should be doing what? Our mission or objectives?
2. Is there anything that I should know about?

This is an opportunity to give them a chance to speak about anything.  Have they heard any rumours they would like clarifying? Do they think a process needs reconsideration? Do they recognise waste in the team? Etc etc 

A few final tips: 

Remember: You are not going to ask all of these questions nor can you solve all issues in a single sitting.  You are going to have these sessions regularly – keep this in mind.  Build trust first, listen with the intent to understand, and demonstrate empathy.  This is not a check list – ‘must ask all questions before our times up!’ Choose three or four and allow the conversation to expand from there.  Take the heat off yourself, by slowing things down, asking for additional information, clarification, and specifics.  You don’t have all the answers and a bit of humility goes a long way.  ‘Sorry I’m not sure – but I will find out and get back to you’.  Being true to your word and getting back to people with the right answer is worth many times the value of trying to give the impression that you know it all and can answer all questions there and then!  Even if you think you know the answer, have an opinion or you think that what you are about to say makes logical sense – don’t say it, and come back with facts.  Your credibility will be quickly undermined with just a single statement that you thought at the time to be the right thing to say.   

Take notes:  our memory is not as robust as we might like to think it is – even your poorest notes are better than your best memories.  Use the downloadable question guide as a way of keeping track of the questions you have asked and the answers given.  Refer back to last month’s notes in this month’s One2One, have things improved? Was there any push back with them not attending meeting X?  Have they been able to enrol for the training they were interested in? etc.  

One2Ones are BIG ROCKS:  See One2Ones as ‘big rocks’ in your diary.  These are some of the most important things that you have allocated time for.  These should always be the last things to be cancelled or postponed.  The reason that a One2One gets changed is the perceived importance of the other thing.  In our experience the other thing is usually task related (management) rather than people related (leadership) and without realising it you are sending a message to your people that getting a task completed is more important that the people on which all future success is based.  We get sucked into the whirlwind of the urgent losing sight of the important.  

Last tip: never leave the One2One without the next One2One booked in the diary and confirmed by both parties.  ‘Can I get back to you on that date’ is only acceptable at the end of the first session.  Make sure both parties are clear on expectations, both parties need to come prepared, and this includes access or knowledge of their diary commitments in 4-6 week’s time.